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melencolia

[ website | deviant art ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[04 Feb 2006|02:23am]
i know i havent updated in awhile and i really dont plan to..
with the exception of this update i think im done with the whole "journal","blog"
thing..i mean..i have a phone and imost of you know my number..if you want to know what im thinking or how im doing you can call...
thats it i guess..i pictured the ending of this to be alittle bit diffrently but to that i say....ehhh fuck it.
bye to all who read.
2 broke it| take it ♥

mentaly exauhsted [19 Jan 2006|11:33pm]
i dont know what to say...
i dont know if anybody cares..
2 broke it| take it ♥

[15 Jan 2006|04:46am]
[ mood | upset with everything ]

hello everyone, i havent felt any good latly...
i mean that in the litral sense.
i have seen the coruption and evil in man in one single moment which has made me just want to crumble and die..
i have lost all my faith in humanity (except for afew people), almost everyone has no cares for anyone else...not even if they are family..
i hate this feeling i have...i hate myself..
if you have my number please call me and make my week...
ill give you a cookie if you do..

2 broke it| take it ♥

[10 Jan 2006|12:27am]
"The Mixed Tape"

This is morning
That's when I spend the most time
Thinking 'bout what I've given up
This is a warning
When you start the day just to close the curtains
You're thinking 'bout what I've given up

Where are you now?
As I'm swimming through the stereo
I'm writing you a symphony of sound
Where are you now?
As I rearrange the songs again
This mix could burn a hole in anyone
But it was you I was thinking of

I read your letter
The one you left when you broke into my house
Retracing ever step you made
And you said you meant it
And there's a piece of me in every single
Second of every single day
But if it's true then tell me how it got this way

Where are you now?
As I'm swimming through the stereo
I'm writing you a symphony of sound
Where are you now?
As I rearrange the songs again
This mix could burn a hole in anyone
But it was you I was thinking of

And I can't get to you
I can't get to you
I can't get to you

Where are you now?
As I'm swimming through the stereo
I conduct a symphony of sound
Where are you now?
As I'm cutting through you track by track
I swear to God this mix could sink the sun
But it was you I was thinking of

And where are you now?
And where are you now?

And this is my mixed tape for her
It's like I wrote every note
With my own fingers
4 broke it| take it ♥

[09 Jan 2006|11:21pm]
[ mood | saddend ]

ok...i havent updated in a while so i guess ill put the high and low points of 05..

HIGHS
*a day by the lake
*finaly getting out of AP art history
*my birthday and all that came with it
*drinking
*trying to teach the drums to many, but one in particular
*finding me and karlys cat ginger
*buying cheese cake ice creem with a friend and walking home eating them..
*afew trips to outback
*going to sunset place and standing in the tower looking down trying to get someone closs to looking down..
*just my freinds...they know who they are..

LOWS
*my dad leaving me again
*my cats tail falling off
*fighting with every member of my "family"
*having to say bye to someone...
*many personal things..

i guess ill put more later...

2 broke it| take it ♥

im down if you cant tell... [19 Dec 2005|02:10am]
[ mood | im sad...simply put... ]

things id say, hear or do if i wernt so fuck pathetic...Collapse )

2 broke it| take it ♥

[10 Dec 2005|10:46pm]
ok i went searching through afew old entrys of a friend and i found this quiz..fill it out if you wish and remeber...this could have been more of thos annoying lyrics instead...lol

Å~ I ____ Kyle.
Å~ Kyle is ____.
Å~ If I were alone in a room with Kyle, I would ____.
Å~ I think Kyle should ____.
Å~ Kyle needs ____.
Å~ Kyle will never ____.
Å~ I want to _____ Kyle.
Å~ Kyle can ____ my _____.
Å~ When I think about Kyle, I ____.
Å~ Someday Kyle will _____.
Å~ Kyle reminds me of _____.
Å~ Without Kyle, ____.
Å~ Memories of Kyle are ____.
Å~ Kyle can be ____.
Å~ ____ is how I describe meeting Kyle.
Å~ Worst thing about Kyle is ____.
Å~ Best thing about Kyle is _____.
Å~ Kyle _____.
Å~ I read Kyle's journal because _____
8 broke it| take it ♥

[03 Dec 2005|05:48am]
[ mood | lonely ]

well its about time i put a real entry..ive been putting tests and lyrics and etc..the lyrics were how i was feeling or had something to do with thoughts in my head, and the quizes were just fun take (oh speaking of quizes i have one on my myspace that i bowarowd if you guys want to take it i would enjoy to see the answears and if you dont its ok)..so ill tell you about what ive been up to now..
today i went to see my doc again..he said i had poison ivy, i had no clue...its weired what a machine can detect..
i also have been drooling over the new xbox 360..now im not a gamer or anything like that...i havent played a game for a long period of time in monthes..but this system has very nice graphics and the shooting games do tend to help me get my anger out..lol so i guess i either need that or a punching bag..
anyway yesterday i felt like shit! i mean i wasnt in that great of a mood (thank you karly for calling me to check in / help)..
well i think thats it for me cause i hear noises outside my house and im not sure what they are so i better check...at this late hour you never know..
end-

15 broke it| take it ♥

this is definatly on the soundtrack of my life.. [02 Dec 2005|08:23pm]
[ mood | talking to walls ]

"Message From Kathlene"
i guess i'll always stop and see you, and we'll run into each other's lives. yeah, i guess. although it tears me up inside. everytime it burns my eyes with tears. but i know you're worth the pain. i've so much more to gain by waiting for you. you're going away, but you're not going far. so if he decides to leave you alone and crying. you know i'm still here, the faithful one. waiting for a message from kathlene. then i'll come... faster... than i ever thought that i could run... cause i... i need you more than i ever thought that i could need someone, yeah... someone, someone else. that i could need someone else... someone else. i know i will always stop and see you and we'll run into each other's fucked up lives. yeah, i guess. although it tears me up inside. everytime it burns my eyes with tears. but your waking up is the start of my lost cause. and then you decide to leave me alone and crying. but you know i'm still here, the faithful one. waiting for a message from kathlene then i'll come... faster... than i ever thought that i could run... cause i... i need you more than i ever thought that i could need someone, yeah... someone, someone else. that i could need someone else... someone else.
end-

5 broke it| take it ♥

i would just like to say.. [01 Dec 2005|11:49pm]
[ mood | sad ]

Karma police
arrest this man,
he talks in maths,
he buzzes like a fridge,
he's like a detuned radio.

Karma police
arrest this girl,
her Hitler hairdo
is making me feel ill
and we have crashed her party.

This is what you get,
this is what you get,
this is what you get,
when you mess with us.

Karma police
I've given all I can,
it's not enough,
I've given all I can
but we're still on the payroll.

This is what you get,
this is what you get,
this is what you get,
when you mess with us.

For a minute there
I lost myself, I lost myself.
Phew, for a minute there,
I lost myself, I lost myself.

the end-

4 broke it| take it ♥

[27 Nov 2005|01:39am]
even more!
In a Past Life...

You Were: An Albino Despot.

Where You Lived: Italy.

How You Died: Consumption.


The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

this is right with afew but dead wrong with afew..

Your Birthdate: June 4

You have an extraordinary character - moral, responsible, and disciplined.
Your sincerely and honesty shine through in almost every situation.
Driven and focused, you rarely let your emotions get the better of you.
You're level headed and rational. People count on your to look at things objectively.

Your strength: Your unwavering loyalty and ethics

Your weakness: Your rock solid stubbornness

Your power color: Navy blue

Your power symbol: Shield

Your power month: April


again, some right, some wrong..

You Are Not Scary

Everyone loves you. Isn't that sweet?


yay! im not scary!
5 broke it| take it ♥

[27 Nov 2005|01:26am]
You Are Pecan Pie Soda

Sweet, but totally nuts

im a jones soda! lol..

You Are 30% Weird

Not enough to scare other people...
But sometimes you scare yourself.


im also alittle weird..
take it ♥

i like this song.. [25 Nov 2005|08:18pm]
[ mood | wish full ]

"Do Your Feet Hurt"
Can I call you sweetheart or even baby doll?
If I had your number, you'd be getting a phone call
Can I leave you a message on your machine?
Letting you know that you're the bomb
And you blew up on me

Are you anxious to see me
After your next class?
Do you care when I tell you
Step around that broken glass?

Can I see you after you get out of school?
I won't even mind if you treat me cruel
Take a ride on my Vespa, I'll take you home
I'll climb up to your window and read you a poem

I know that you believe in the one true God above
And that's why you're waiting
For your one and only love
Do your feet hurt? Did you fall from heaven?
'Cause you've been running through
My mind all day
My mind don't mind

I don't know what to say or do
I can't eat when I'm with you
Goodnight sweetheart I gotta go
And you won't come to my next show?

2 broke it| take it ♥

the things i am thankfull for.. [24 Nov 2005|07:58pm]
ok i am thankfull for the following things (which are in some what of a order)..
-my friendship that i share with my two best friends (Karly and jason)
-the nice mebers of my strange family
-starbucks
-my music and other music like it
-people who listen
-my pink bear
-my kitten ginger
-the colour black
-my drums
-love
-my jokes and the few that get them
-cheese and the great cake it makes..
and everything else i cant think of right now..

happy thanksgiving all
2 broke it| take it ♥

[19 Nov 2005|07:18pm]
[ mood | awake ]

i havent seen this movie or the play for that matter, but i saw this quize on karly's LJ & i wanted to be cool to so i took it and got this..lol, enjoy.

Roger
You're Roger Davis. Your only wish is to write one
great song to be remembered by. You don't
leave the house much, and you can't form
relationships very well.


Rent Character Quiz
brought to you by Quizilla

its pretty accurate.

4 broke it| take it ♥

[18 Nov 2005|10:14pm]
I made a Quiz for you! Take my Quiz! and then Check out the Scoreboard!
take it ♥

i can walk but i will crawl there.. [09 Nov 2005|11:02pm]
today i watched to movies..well three..i guess i wanted to go to the land of the fake today..yes it has been a ruf week..
so anyway the last movie i watched was called boondock saints and if you can understand the thick accents coming out of the two A&F or tommy models that they cast as the two leasding me, it is actualy a great movie and they two models can actualy act (no they arnt models thee are just scens that make you think they are)..so in the beging of the movie (no im not giving anything away) there is a priest talking about how a girl was stabed to death in broad daylight and noone helped or answeard her cries for help...so because of this he says one must fear bad men but you must also fear the indifrence of good men..
which is a true statment..its things like that thet make me wonder sometimes if anyone cares (and i know a certin few do [YOU])...i know its just a statment from a movie but something like that happend in real life to.....someone...
and what did everyone do..sit and watch..there might as well have been a guy handing out popcorn god damn it.
now that i think about it i contemplate if i would beable to do something/act in a situation such as that.
take it ♥

[07 Nov 2005|12:38am]
[ mood | like xero ]

i would just like to say i feel like a xero (thats zero for anyone who didnt or dosnt get it)
ive had so much on my mind i though i would either burst or cry...which ever came first..i must say the latter did..
you ever think that you should just not try cause things will never chage...i do...people tell me im only 18 and i dont know anything..well i know more than them...
ive been robed by a evil man who sole reason for coming to miami was cause he was wanted for murder..and when he got here what did he do..wesel his way into my house and steel everything...i didnt quite know where anyof my things went cuse i was little but that made it worse cause he stole from a chiled..and why..cause he could get drugs for whatever the fuck my mom and i had...
good by nice apartment hello bankrupcy and not so nice apartment...
and people wonder why i dont smoke drink or do drugs..
i believe these things bring out the worst in people...

i feel like dieing after i told that story but before it i didnt feel much better..
anyone else have a constant fight in there head..like one part of you wants to do something but another part wont let you..i guess not..im the only fucked up one here..
i could use some pills right now, thus making me a hypocrite for my statment before hand..
well i wouldnt want to be that so ill just say i could really use a good cut right about now..
which is true..
my stomach hurts from the lack of food i guess..i guess i thought one meal would be ok..maybe i was wrong..like i am usualy..
today i came up with an idea for a movie but im to imbaresd to tell you cause i think it would be a bad idea anyway..
i could really use someone to talk to right about now..thats all..
bye..

4 broke it| take it ♥

[05 Nov 2005|01:57am]
[ mood | im ok ]

im makeing a list of dvds that i would like to buy..and im up to 70 something 80 and i would like to add to the list but my mind is breaking down.
does anyone know any GOOD movies? and im not talking about movies like adam sandler or ben stiller or anything like that...those are good once in a while but im talking about one that has a good story and i could watch it more than once in a day or week..
so please give me ideas..
thanks for the help.

2 broke it| take it ♥

[04 Nov 2005|11:13am]
i found this looking through an incredibly smart (but not nice) mans journal and it was on of the few things i could read and understand on there so im posting it..
pluse its been awhile since ive posted these things..

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Why do you think you are on my friends list?
5. What particular emotion would you equate to me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When's the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
15. Are you going to put this on your LJ and see what I say about you?
take it ♥

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